Inventing Your Religion

Regarding one's belief and faith, it recently occurred to me that at the philosophical level the choices are twofold: you either are (1) a devout and consistent Atheist - a materialist that considers that nothing exists apart from the matter and energy of the physical universe, or (2) in the most basic manner, accept that an immaterial, spiritual (even divine) reality exists that transcends the material universe. Since many don't want to place themselves firmly under the "Atheist" label, they fall into the "faith" category - willingly accepting that something may exist or be true that cannot be proven through experimentation with matter and energy.

Now if you fall under the "faith" camp, then the options become (again) twofold: to (A) adopt an established faith previously attested in history, which has likely organized itself into a codified believe system (typically represented by an organization as well), or (B) invent your own beliefs that will secure for you (i) positive interaction with the transcendent now (i.e. God, "gods," spirits, etc.) , (ii) a moral code satisfactory to those transcendent forces and works well in the world as it operates, and (iii) a favorable afterlife when the present existence transitions to it at the end of the body's life cycle. When I encounter people desirous to invent their own "religion," I encourage them that the belief system they develop really needs to meet the above criteria, and do it well enough to convince themselves they've arrived at something better than anything previous attested or practiced in history. They'll need to be confident that they're more spiritually attuned, theologically insightful and sensitive to the transcendent than any who have come before. They will need to feel a high degree of certitude regarding the afterlife and how one can be assured a pleasing one. It will help if they have the testimony of a credible witness who has been there and come back to describe it, and how one's "place at the table" is reserved.

If you're not a devout and consistent Atheist, and you eschew an established religion, then the religion you invent for yourself needs to have a way of including others, since it's unlikely you'll enjoy yours much in isolation. After all, how does one expect to relate well to a spouse that you cannot share at least some religious conversation with? Nevertheless, even if one doesn't share their religion with their spouse, the inevitability of our communal nature compels us to seek a group (or form one) in which people of like minds on a matter can gather to affirm pursuit of the common belief. Encouragement is a universal necessity, so people naturally "congregate" to encourage one another to pursue the common cause. All religions, whether attested since ancient times or recently invented mere years ago, develop followers (plural).

Your new religion will likely develop some type of natural hierarchy. Yes, I know, why the need for hierarchical structures? Isn't that the "organized religion" you're trying to escape anyway by inventing your own? Good question. But what will you do if, after a group begins to collect, an attendee seeks to persuade others in the group to think differently than you or in some manner inconsistent with your new belief patterns? Yes, even if the group gathers to affirm that each member has their own beliefs and that none can be the same, inevitably there is bound to eventually enter that one ornery person that loves to debate and hope to win others over to believing like him. Who will be the one to enforce the integrity of the group? Who will say to that person, "Look. Believe as you want, but you can't come here and spend the time upsetting others like that. Either tone it down or you'll have to leave." Who is entrusted with that kind of voice? that kind of (dare I say it) authority? *cringe*

Ok. Let's ask something else. This new religion of yours... is it all in your head, or does it interact with stuff such as symbols, talisman's, charms or fetishes? Does is have any spatial or geographical specificity? Does it involve accessing the vibes emanating from a mountain or field? Will you utilize a structure, a house or a meadow to facilitate your religious practice? ALL religions wind up developing SOME type of praxis. It's a natural human instinct. Don't worry about the money. Your basement could suffice, or you could build an ornate building. It's up to you. It is YOUR religion, after all.

What about times and seasons? Humans have historically regarded time as their most precious possession. It's a non-renewable resource that is heading toward total depletion. Therefore, religions have typically gravitated toward specific times and seasons when their practices were most effective at interacting with spiritual forces, or at least different times and seasons resulted in different nuanced interactions with the divine throughout the day, week and year; yours will be no exception. Whether it be the summer solstice, the winter solstice, a specific day in spring or a moveable date in fall, "high" days naturally will occur as the followers of your system believe they're having particularly meaningful experiences on those days. Oh, and by the way, is this religion more a daytime system or nocturnal system? Yes, I'm serious. You need to think about this. Do the spiritual realities you want to interact with seem to respond better in the dark or in broad daylight? No, it's not dependent upon whether you're a "night owl" or a "morning person."

What procedures or protocols will you invent to prepare adherents of your new religion for interacting with the divine or the spiritual? We all go through our little "rituals" of some type to "get our head in the game" concerning an important activity. Whether you're getting ready for work, going through security at the airport or respectfully witnessing the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, we all interact with rituals here and there that convey the gravity of the occasion, adhere to protocols of approaching authority and get us in our right mind for participating. So what "rites" will you introduce in order to prepare your own mind, facilitate others with you doing the same, and invoking the presence of God, the gods or the spirits for your benefit? Will you standardize this set of "rites" so that others that believe as you do follow them to have the same effect that you do also? Will you right them down? What will THAT book be titled? Who can perform these rites for optimal effect? Anyone? Designated people? Is the designation gender specific? Many religions of the world have long standing reasons for why one is sex is preferred over the other in the context of religious rites? What would yours be?

Ok. We've covered the potential sacred times, sacred space, sacred offices, sacred objects and sacred rites of your new religion. What about a sacred text? Do you plan to codify into writing this belief system you're inventing? What will be the literary genre of this writing? Will it have one or many genres? Are you the sole author, or will you welcome the contributions of like-minded people? If a multi-author work, how will you ensure message continuity? Will you reserve full editorial authority to yourself? By what rationale do you claim such authority? Yes, I know, it's YOUR religion, but remember that it's bound to gain a following if you're serious about this. Will this "sacred text" contain poetry, history, myth, correspondence from you to like-minded people in another city? Does your religion attempt any predictions about the future? Does it express those predictions symbolically or with a high degree of detail? Do you include your rites in the sacred text, or are they contained in a separate companion volume? To what degree must your group of like-minded followers consider this sacred text "authoritative?" What I mean is, do they HAVE to believe, behave and practice according to what is written, or can they pick and choose according to personal preference? Just how "sacred" is this sacred text anyway?

Whew! That's a lot to think about. I don't mean to overwhelm you, but if you're going to invent your own religion, there's a lot to consider. I mean...if indeed you're really serious about this. Some may say that they have their "personal belief system" and "don't like organized religion" merely as a way of avoiding accountability and throwing a spiritual tantrum like some teen that refuses to grow up, but I don't think that's what you're doing. When you say that you have your "personal beliefs," I take you seriously and assume that you want to conscientiously approach the categories of religion we've considered above. If you're going to invent your own religion, there's a lot of work ahead. I don't envy you.

By contrast, I took the comparatively lazy route of simply being a Christian, and belong within that historic stream of Faith. Because I am a Christian, I derive comfort from finding my place in that "tribe," trusting those before me in history regarding the categories discussed here. Does it call for mindless adherence? Far from it, for each generation has to evaluate the extent to which tradition aligns with prescriptions and prohibitions of the sacred text (i.e. The Bible). Since I'm a Christian, the aspects of religion that you will have to invent are all pretty much invented for me already and are well attested in history. I suppose you could decide to take the "easy route" as I have, but I know you're committed to inventing your own religion.

You've sure got your work cut out for you.

Good luck with that.

Bowhunting for No-Show Game

Some deer are just plain rude. We came for a visit and they spent their whole time away from the designated gathering area...

But I'm getting too far ahead in the story...

Back to the beginning.

Last weekend my daughter and I had the marvelous opportunity to go bowhunting for whitetail deer in the Texas hill country. A friend of mine had relatives living in a rural area where the deer are, according to their reports, so numerous as to be a nuisance for those attempting to grow flowers, trees or any other plants in their yard. "Come get'em," we were encouraged. "They're eating us out of house and home." Up until this point living in Texas, I had craved the chance to break into the local hunting scene. Frankly, because it differs so much with the west coast hunting paradigm, wherein you stalk your prey in a wilderness context, I had been skeptical whether I'd ever enjoy a predatory outing in the Lone Star State. Here so much of the land is privately owned that the notion of simply walking off into the mountains to be an ecological participant could not be more foreign. Instead it's necessary, in most cases, to pay for the right to hunt on someone's land (i.e. a "deer lease").

Ah yes...the deer lease. It's been described to me before. Apparently, one goes to this piece of pre-designated land (where you bought an annual lease), sits in a pre-fabricated "blind" (these booths often are elevated off the ground, contain satellite TV, an espresso machine, seat and hand warmers, concierge service and wifi) and points their weapon (rifle or bow) in the direction of a "deer feeder" (these strange contraptions disperse deer feed at pre-set times, along with soothing music, mixed drinks and various recreational drugs meant to offer deer a full pleasing experience) and wait for the appropriate moment when these trained animals of the wild (puh-leeeese!) respond to the dinner bell with crackerjack Pavlovian timing to hit their mark on the spot exactly at that range the marksman or archer had practiced the week before. This is called "hunting" in Texas. I find the term "harvesting" more appropriately applied to this practice. Nevertheless, whether "harvesting" or "hunting," the animal participating in this Circle of Life (shameless "Lion King" reference) has a greater chance of escaping unharmed than...oh say...the one that gave their life so that an anti-hunting activist can have their burger just the way THEY like it. But I digress...

If, however, one does not have a deer lease (they can be rather expensive), the other option is to know someone with land or a lease that is generous enough to invite you along. Such was the case when my friend invited my daughter and I to bring our bows and hunt near his relative's hill country home. I must say, the experience at their home was indicative of all things embedded in the phrase "southern hospitality." The cooking was rich and filling. The sleeping arrangements were plush and accommodating. The hostess' attention was reminiscent of a bygone era when "stewardesses" saw to passenger comforts to the degree unheard of among "flight attendants" today that toss you a bag of peanuts from three aisles away. In this way, the experience already felt nothing like the hunting I knew growing up in which the toughness of wilderness camping was part of the bragging rights. Warm showers available after the morning hunt? Heresy!...yet one I gladly embraced without reservation.

One hunting tradition to which I was accustomed was hiking at least a mile to the hunting spot away from camp, thus necessitating a 4:00 a.m. wake up time to allow for breakfast and hiking time, and be in the right spot at least 30 minutes before sunrise. On this hunt, the blind we were to use was approximately 25 yards from the house in the adjacent lot. This is akin to hunting in your neighbor's back yard. Now while this may not seem like adequate "roughing it" per se, it's important to note that this blind consisted of lounge chairs under low hanging tree limbs, with no espresso machine or wifi; HARDLY the luxury enjoyed by some...Don't judge me! In addition, our blind had two lines of fire that required the deer to stand motionless in front of the archer occupying each chair. In case the reader is thinking that we had it too easy, I'll remind you that the pre-dawn temperatures on both morning hunts were lower than what most people normally subject themselves too unless being initiated into the Polar Bear Club. Both mornings though, the deer exercised their prejudice against these west coast transplants to Texas and stayed warm in their lodge, popping open a cold beer, kicking back and laughing at the hunters shivering by themselves in the deer-less forest. No doubt their recreational drugs involved passing around a joint and giggling uncontrollably at the father/daughter team freezing their extremities, expecting deer to show up and introduce themselves.

Around 7:17 a.m., the silence was broken with signs of nearby animal life. A donkey from a nearby field proclaimed his obligatory "heehaw...heehaw" to accentuate the futility of our efforts. Roosters began their mocking chorus at daybreak, crowing sounds that, when roughly translated mean "You're freezing for no reason, silly people." At one point I did draw my bow back, prepared to let loose an arrow on a majestic "buck" approaching, but on further examination realized that this particular tree stump was never going to turn broadside for me. After the first day of finding about as much evidence of deer presence as can be found in the Houston Galleria, we decide to descend further into the Texas hunting customs with the addition of deer bait into the picture. Purchasing "deer corn" from a supermarket in the nearby town held promise of a different experience the following morning. We spread it along the trail in front of our blind, even pouring small piles of it where we wanted the deer to hold still so we could shoot them. Imagine our shame when, the following morning, we discovered that none of the deer corn had been consumed throughout the night. It was the ultimate insult. Not only did the deer rather stubbornly refuse to show themselves when we were present, but they even lifted their collective nose and rejected the free corn we offered for them to consume in our absence.

To those that feel I am overselling the embarrassment of this, I submit that the only time we DID see deer was, after leaving our blind with icicles hanging from our nose, when we were looking across over in a neighboring field and spied five does holding morning soccer practice. When they saw us from approximately 100 yards away, they pointed and giggled like popular high school mean girls, and bounded away to all go eat at the same table. With our deer corn untouched and our arrows having not flown on this outing, we sauntered back to the house to pack for the trip home. Of course, it was after all the gear was packed away, and our vehicle was leaving, that the once "missing" deer all lined the road leading out of the neighborhood, swaying back and forth, singing:

Na na na nah
Na na na nah
Hey hey hey
Goodbye.....
(repeat)

Once our SUV turned back on the highway, those lazy pothead deer that had been kick'in it at the lodge got the munchies and filed outside to consume the deer corn we had left for them. Those that were still hungry went back to eating the rose bushes our hostess was trying to preserve through our hunting efforts. I hope to return sometime to be that line of defense for her landscaping.

As this was my first time experiencing Texas deer hunting, I can say that it was indeed a great departure from the wilderness experience I grew up with. However, not all traditions from my youth were discarded. There was still occasion to cover my face with intimidating camouflage paint, looking mean enough to scare the deer to death should my skills as an archer be found wanting. Snickers bars (fun size...a childhood staple) still found their way into the "ditty bag" (fanny pack) to satisfy that special hunger that attacks you about twelve minutes before and after sunrise. All in all, though the deer obviously were better at surveillance of us than we were of them this time, it was rewarding to at least get our feet wet in this new arena, leaving with plenty of ideals to hunt those disrespectful, pothead, absentee animals next time.