Monday, August 18, 2008

Yuck in the Gut

What a vile, and unsavory creature is depression. It seeks to convince you of things that are not true, yet seems to grow increasingly persuasive by the hour. It peers into your mirror and finds only faults and failings. It examines your traits and finds only shortcomings. It analyzes your qualifications and finds only fluff. It purports to declare your strengths, but lists only liabilities. It promises to reveal value, but shows only weakness. It paints a dark and sinister picture of you in the name of "honest assessment." Its bile has been known to melt the soul and render the spirit numb. Its fragrance attacks the nervous system, creating paralysis of the will. Victims have been known to involuntarily utter the refrain "why bother?" I hate depression. From the way it makes me feel, I don't imagine it's very fond of me either.

But I remember "the code"...

There is not fear...There is faith.
There is no folly...There is wisdom.
There is no feeling...There is truth.
There is no death...There is only the LORD.

Depression will not have its way with me, for I remember the LORD. I remember that He remembers me. I will not be governed by fear of job searches, school expenses, electric bills or car problems. I instead will be governed by faith that God works out such things. I might have no pride left through the manner he works it out, but faith and pride can sometimes be incompatible anyway.

I will not be swayed into folly, but led by wisdom. I will use what money I have in the most responsible way I can.

I will not be overcome by feelings, but be influenced by the truth. God knows my plight, and is present in my trouble. My value is not determined by conditions, but by the One who made me.

I will not wish to die and be done with the pain of it, but I will instead seek my full meaning in YHWH. Christ alone is my meaning. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He thinks; therefore, I am. I will not seek to escape pain, but instead to identify with Christ whose pain gives us common ground. Pain is the thing Christ and I have most in common.

Depression is such a nasty and abhorrent leach.

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