The two courses I'm taking at Dallas Theological Seminary, added to the rigors of pastoral ministry and a family all feel as though I'm juggling chainsaws in the air. You don't want to drop any of them, for they might be damaged in a way that would require repair. You want to catch them just right, for catching them by anything but the handle could have painful consequences. So the resulting effect is an anxious existence whereby you'd like to drop a chainsaw, but fear to do so since innocents are standing nearby. You'd like life to be simpler, but you're not sure how that could happen. Such is the stuff of depression, for those who are susceptible to it.
I am numbered among those who are susceptible to depression. Naomi has testified to me that she has come to expect a season of this from me at least once a semester. I'd rather not be so affected by circumstances like this. It makes me feel so immature, since mood swings are a sign of either depression or immaturity. Nevertheless, I pray that God helps me cope well with the pressures mounting up during this time. I hate juggling chainsaws, but God's grace is sufficient such times as this too.